Sunday, February 10, 2013
Please Redirect Your Attention
I appreciate anyone who was ever a reader of this blog. I wasn't aware until I did a search that this blog was still turning up in Google Searches. I wanted to make sure that you guys know that I am still blogging I just have a different place for it. If you would please redirect your attention to my tumblr page. Please follow me there and if you were a long time reader click on my "ask me" button and just let me know so that I can follow you back.http://janwicked.tumblr.com
You can also view my blog posts on my website http://www.JanWicked.com
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Photography...
So the past few years have seen me walking away from photography...coming back...walking away again...it's been a whirlwind. My art is something that I am very passionate about, and with passion comes moodiness. I have been laying awake at night thinking about all of the amazing opportunities that have been passing me by. Why is it that I can't seem to take myself seriously as a photographer? It's obvious that everyone around me does!
I used to sit by myself under the stairs in High School and think about what my life would be like if people knew who I was and cared about my art, music, and writing. I thought about how it would make me feel. How fulfilled my life would be. I never once thought that the praise and recognition would make me feel uneasy. I almost feel as if sometimes I have something to prove. What's funny is that some people will see my horrible work and think it's great. Meanwhile im picking apart my exposure, my focus, and my editing. I don't know why im so hard on myself about it.
Then there's the fact that I am nearing the end of my degree. Completing my education means entering the work force with my psychology degree. Where will that leave me with photography? Furthermore...how much longer am I going to be able to work within the club scene and hold down a serious job.
I know that a lot of people are hobby photographers. Im NOT a hobby photograher. I don't want to take pictures of random stuff. Most of the time when I take nature, still life, or architectural photos it's just to keep refreshing the things that I learned in school. I like to take photographs of people. I like to be PAID to take photographs of people. Sure there are a select few people for whom I would always do work for free...because they are always a joy to work with, beautiful in front of my camera, and always leave me with epic things to add to my portfolio.
hahaha...portfolio.
I am 4 years into this and I have never printed a real portfolio.
I want studio lights! I want backdrops and props. I want better lenses, a speedlight flash...a wireless shutter release...a Bogen or Manfrotto tripod. I want reflectors and barndoors! I want at least 50,000 dollars worth of amazing equipment and a better camera too! If I had all of that stuff...I wonder if that would make me take myself more seriously as a photographer. I wonder if Ansel Adams ever felt the way that I do when he was taking his epic nature photos...like who the hell is ever going to like this stuff?
Im really just rambling on at this point...I hate feeling like this all the time. Blah.
I used to sit by myself under the stairs in High School and think about what my life would be like if people knew who I was and cared about my art, music, and writing. I thought about how it would make me feel. How fulfilled my life would be. I never once thought that the praise and recognition would make me feel uneasy. I almost feel as if sometimes I have something to prove. What's funny is that some people will see my horrible work and think it's great. Meanwhile im picking apart my exposure, my focus, and my editing. I don't know why im so hard on myself about it.
Then there's the fact that I am nearing the end of my degree. Completing my education means entering the work force with my psychology degree. Where will that leave me with photography? Furthermore...how much longer am I going to be able to work within the club scene and hold down a serious job.
I know that a lot of people are hobby photographers. Im NOT a hobby photograher. I don't want to take pictures of random stuff. Most of the time when I take nature, still life, or architectural photos it's just to keep refreshing the things that I learned in school. I like to take photographs of people. I like to be PAID to take photographs of people. Sure there are a select few people for whom I would always do work for free...because they are always a joy to work with, beautiful in front of my camera, and always leave me with epic things to add to my portfolio.
hahaha...portfolio.
I am 4 years into this and I have never printed a real portfolio.
I want studio lights! I want backdrops and props. I want better lenses, a speedlight flash...a wireless shutter release...a Bogen or Manfrotto tripod. I want reflectors and barndoors! I want at least 50,000 dollars worth of amazing equipment and a better camera too! If I had all of that stuff...I wonder if that would make me take myself more seriously as a photographer. I wonder if Ansel Adams ever felt the way that I do when he was taking his epic nature photos...like who the hell is ever going to like this stuff?
Im really just rambling on at this point...I hate feeling like this all the time. Blah.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Voodoo Devil Drums
Voodoo Devil Drums
“Ladies in free and drink free all night!”
General info
date: Wednesday, July 14, 2010
time: 09:00 PM to 02:00 AM
where: Endo Exo
address: 1224 Kings Ave
cost: Ladies 21+ Free Guys 21+ $5.00 18-20 Guys and girls $8.00
dress code: Gothic/Industrial or whatever you wish...just keep it sexy!
Description
Jacksonville's Best Industrial Dj's (Alex Pagan And Rob Boggs) Battle for Blood on the Decks ,as The Voodoo Dolls keep you mesmerized with their noir sexy style.!! Always ladies get in free and drink free,Guys $5.00 Jager Bombs $2.00 Draft $2.00 Tecate Cans
Dress in your best Gothic / Industrial attire, Wicked Arts will be on the scene.!!
Guys and Girls 18 to 20* $8.00 Cover
Girls 21 and up Free
Guys 21 and up $5.00 Cover
“Ladies in free and drink free all night!”
General info
date: Wednesday, July 14, 2010
time: 09:00 PM to 02:00 AM
where: Endo Exo
address: 1224 Kings Ave
cost: Ladies 21+ Free Guys 21+ $5.00 18-20 Guys and girls $8.00
dress code: Gothic/Industrial or whatever you wish...just keep it sexy!
Description
Jacksonville's Best Industrial Dj's (Alex Pagan And Rob Boggs) Battle for Blood on the Decks ,as The Voodoo Dolls keep you mesmerized with their noir sexy style.!! Always ladies get in free and drink free,Guys $5.00 Jager Bombs $2.00 Draft $2.00 Tecate Cans
Dress in your best Gothic / Industrial attire, Wicked Arts will be on the scene.!!
Guys and Girls 18 to 20* $8.00 Cover
Girls 21 and up Free
Guys 21 and up $5.00 Cover
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Why am I being so hard on myself?
Um it's summer time...im a college student...and that means I don't have to go to school. So why do I feel like I am not doing something I should. I have felt really rotten the past few days and have been sleeping much more than I normally do...only to leave me feeling really shitty about it now.
My job that I got...well let's just say that it didn't work out. It was exactly what I thought it would be...only the training process was really frustrating and more a trial my fire than a training and I would have been fine with that but I was hired as management and in a corporate environment you have to actually KNOW things to be promoted and work as a manager. Then the hours were kinda eh...lame and not really worth it. Working three hours four days a week? Then...The hours started to collide in a bad way with Ric's schedule...one week of it and we were both like...is this really gonna be worth it? We voted no.
So it wasn't for me...that's not really a bad thing. Not every job is gonna work out. It sucks that at the moment it was my only real prospect...but in the grand scheme of things it's probably better to find out it wasn't gonna work now...rather than later. I just kinda feel like I have given up on a lot this summer...
But really, what is a full time college student expected to do over the summer? This is the first summer that I have had off...it's kinda...overwhelming. I feel like all I do is sit around and veg out. Which trust me...it's nice to not have deadlines, papers, and tests around every bend...but damn! Without those things my life has kinda become...boring.
Thank God for Heather...she's been keeping me sane. SecondLife has given me something to do...but I am sad that I know come September im going to have very limited time on SL to really play.
My Fall Semester is CRAZY im taking 5 classes. 4 Academic classes and a P.E. I know...im nuts...but I am so ready to get all of this crap behind me. I needed to take Statistics but all the classes were at night and it's really hard for me to go to my night classes...I get home and never wanna go back. I only have one night class a week in the Fall and it's Theater Appreciation...i'll WANT to go to that. I love performing arts! After this semester the only core classes i'll have left are World Lit and Statistics! I have been trying to get into World Lit with Professor Dewart but she only seems to be teaching that on the web. Maybe I should stop by her office in the fall and find out what her plans are for Spring cause I have to get that class taken care of. Im pretty sure that i'll be able to walk at Commencement. I may get a dummy diploma LOL but that's ok. I'll just have to see...I never talk to my adviser LOL it's weird because he's the head of the Psych department and I never took from him. I took from Dr. Bluhm and Dr. Stevens and they were excellent!
Anyway...im bullshitting and stuff at this point...I just hadn't had a Journal blog in quite some time and I felt like it was time. Im sure I will check in later on in the month and let you guys know what's up. Until then enjoy my random quotes and pics and tweets and other tumbls that I post.
My job that I got...well let's just say that it didn't work out. It was exactly what I thought it would be...only the training process was really frustrating and more a trial my fire than a training and I would have been fine with that but I was hired as management and in a corporate environment you have to actually KNOW things to be promoted and work as a manager. Then the hours were kinda eh...lame and not really worth it. Working three hours four days a week? Then...The hours started to collide in a bad way with Ric's schedule...one week of it and we were both like...is this really gonna be worth it? We voted no.
So it wasn't for me...that's not really a bad thing. Not every job is gonna work out. It sucks that at the moment it was my only real prospect...but in the grand scheme of things it's probably better to find out it wasn't gonna work now...rather than later. I just kinda feel like I have given up on a lot this summer...
But really, what is a full time college student expected to do over the summer? This is the first summer that I have had off...it's kinda...overwhelming. I feel like all I do is sit around and veg out. Which trust me...it's nice to not have deadlines, papers, and tests around every bend...but damn! Without those things my life has kinda become...boring.
Thank God for Heather...she's been keeping me sane. SecondLife has given me something to do...but I am sad that I know come September im going to have very limited time on SL to really play.
My Fall Semester is CRAZY im taking 5 classes. 4 Academic classes and a P.E. I know...im nuts...but I am so ready to get all of this crap behind me. I needed to take Statistics but all the classes were at night and it's really hard for me to go to my night classes...I get home and never wanna go back. I only have one night class a week in the Fall and it's Theater Appreciation...i'll WANT to go to that. I love performing arts! After this semester the only core classes i'll have left are World Lit and Statistics! I have been trying to get into World Lit with Professor Dewart but she only seems to be teaching that on the web. Maybe I should stop by her office in the fall and find out what her plans are for Spring cause I have to get that class taken care of. Im pretty sure that i'll be able to walk at Commencement. I may get a dummy diploma LOL but that's ok. I'll just have to see...I never talk to my adviser LOL it's weird because he's the head of the Psych department and I never took from him. I took from Dr. Bluhm and Dr. Stevens and they were excellent!
Anyway...im bullshitting and stuff at this point...I just hadn't had a Journal blog in quite some time and I felt like it was time. Im sure I will check in later on in the month and let you guys know what's up. Until then enjoy my random quotes and pics and tweets and other tumbls that I post.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Down in the Dumps
I have been pretty miserable lately. I have been sick since Saturday...things around the house have been really really horrible for me. My roommate hasn't been paying her part of the rent and it's making things really hard for Ric and I. We don't have anyone but each other to fall back on, and it seems like nothing seems to be going right for us.
I had...well technically still have...I think a job at Taco Bell, but it doesn't look like im gonna be able to keep it. My health is taking it's yearly nose dive...which sucks that it's happening during the summer. Luckily im not in school cause I can hardly get out of bed and im in so much pain that I pretty much cry myself to sleep at night...when I actually get to sleep before the night is over.
I miss doing portrait photography a whole lot...I just don't really know anyone who wants any pictures taken...well at least anyone local...
I guess you could say that I am officially down in the dumps.
I had...well technically still have...I think a job at Taco Bell, but it doesn't look like im gonna be able to keep it. My health is taking it's yearly nose dive...which sucks that it's happening during the summer. Luckily im not in school cause I can hardly get out of bed and im in so much pain that I pretty much cry myself to sleep at night...when I actually get to sleep before the night is over.
I miss doing portrait photography a whole lot...I just don't really know anyone who wants any pictures taken...well at least anyone local...
I guess you could say that I am officially down in the dumps.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Tila Tequila Needs Help
Normally I don't post about celebrities on my blogs. Mostly because I think there are plenty enough of those sort of blogs anyway. However, I was just reading something that made chunks rise up in my throat. It isn't every day that I actually feel deeply CONCERNED for any celebrity person. I have been following Tila Tequila since before she had her show on MTV. I thought she was cute and her blogs were always really funny. Her show was insane...but she came off as genuine and really fun.
Right now however, im going to have to say that I think that she really needs help. She has apparently been keeping a celebrity news blog. I decided to check it out and what I found was fairly common...until I came to her post about celebrities and the New World Order.
At first I laughed as she was talking about videos being blatant forums for satanic worship. I could understand her feeling that way about the Gaga video...but I think that was more just Gaga trying to continue to shock us. But apparently Rhianna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and basically all of MTV are in league with the devil. She went on to further say that she was an angel sent here from God to fight the evil of the world(keep in mind one page before this she posted pictures of herself in a see through lace bra and underwear set).
Anyone who is popular right now is a satan worshiping member of the Illuminati in her mind...oh and the one that tripped me out the most...the Illuminati killed Michael Jackson because he wouldn't be a part of their brainwashing scheme any more. Her reason for thinking this is because of a LATOYA JACKSON (that's credible) interview, and a picture of Joe Jackson with a bedazzled cow skull.
Laugh if you want to...cause honestly it is a little big silly...but I really think that Tila might be into some serious drugs. I quit following her on Twitter a while back because every time I logged in my feed would be flooded with her paranoid delusions and her "Tila Army" call to arms posts. It was just too much. Anyway... I know that I am only one voice...and I know that my voice is small and so very "east coast" but could someone in LA please go check on this girl and make sure that she is alright? Dr. Drew? Don't you have a spot in your celebrity rehab for her? She needs help!
Right now however, im going to have to say that I think that she really needs help. She has apparently been keeping a celebrity news blog. I decided to check it out and what I found was fairly common...until I came to her post about celebrities and the New World Order.
At first I laughed as she was talking about videos being blatant forums for satanic worship. I could understand her feeling that way about the Gaga video...but I think that was more just Gaga trying to continue to shock us. But apparently Rhianna, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and basically all of MTV are in league with the devil. She went on to further say that she was an angel sent here from God to fight the evil of the world(keep in mind one page before this she posted pictures of herself in a see through lace bra and underwear set).
Anyone who is popular right now is a satan worshiping member of the Illuminati in her mind...oh and the one that tripped me out the most...the Illuminati killed Michael Jackson because he wouldn't be a part of their brainwashing scheme any more. Her reason for thinking this is because of a LATOYA JACKSON (that's credible) interview, and a picture of Joe Jackson with a bedazzled cow skull.Laugh if you want to...cause honestly it is a little big silly...but I really think that Tila might be into some serious drugs. I quit following her on Twitter a while back because every time I logged in my feed would be flooded with her paranoid delusions and her "Tila Army" call to arms posts. It was just too much. Anyway... I know that I am only one voice...and I know that my voice is small and so very "east coast" but could someone in LA please go check on this girl and make sure that she is alright? Dr. Drew? Don't you have a spot in your celebrity rehab for her? She needs help!
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