Starting to Say Goodbye

Ric and I walked through what parts of Neptune Park you can walk through this evening. I smelled the air, absorbed the surroundings...it's a place here that I can say I have honestly always loved. When it's tourist season and busy, it's fun and it has a unique sort of energy to it. When it's off season and deserted it's got a calm that can't be described. We had the entire pier to ourselves. It was one of those amazingly clear, cool, breezy nights that I literally could have walked forever.
We talked about how weird it was going to be to come back to visit St. Simons Island after we leave and move to the city. How things that we might take for granted are going to finally seem lovely and relaxing.
Mostly right now this town seems like a suffocating vice. Like somewhere we are "just stuck" not a place we actually want to be. I think, however, once we leave...it will be different. I think when we come back to visit my Mother and our remaining few friends, that it will be kinda fun. Like eating at a weird mom-an-pop diner on the side of a country road. Just enough to relax and kick back...but not so much that it bores you.
I can honestly say that I can't wait for September, but I can also say that im scared. I have never really lived anywhere else...cept for that time in Washington and we know how that turned out...But I think that Ric and I will do better in the city. I think I will finally be able to spread my wings a little and that I won't have to worry so much about "finding people like me." I'll be able to say...wow im kinda bored...I think im gonna go do something...and there will actually be a "something" to go do.
After I establish residency i'll be in a much better school...even if UNF isn't the school of my choice, I can get a better education there than where I am. Im excited about seeing where CCGA goes though. I think they are on the right path.
Mostly I am just excited about being able to be closer to the new friends that I have made. I said that one of my goals this year was to make new friends, and I have, but unfortunately I made them all in another town (ooops). I think Jacksonville will change me a lot. I think being in a city will motivate me to keep up...rather than to just be who I am here. Im not trying to say that im the shit or anything...but I feel like my average is enough here to be extraordinary...but that's not saying much. In Jax my average isn't going to be shit. Busy city full of busy people working hard to achieve. Here you have a laid back city with laid back people who don't have to work hard because their money does that for them. It's kinda hard to live in a town like this when you don't have the money to be one of those "laid back" people.
I guess that I have finally committed to the fact that this move is absolutely happening...and so now im taking my time now to really get to know every thing about this city and do things that I have never done. It won't take long but I definitely have a list.
Jan's List of Brunswick Things To Do:
Go to the top of the lighthouse
Kayak from the mainland to the island through the marsh
Visit every small gallery and museum no matter how lame
Eat at Sandcastle Grille and Dressner's Cafe
Ride on the lame trolley tour
Ride a horse on the beach
Ride in a horse buggy at the village in the summer with Ric and make out